yes , i am damn annoying !

i am a human , and so so you right ?

a human created with various feeling inside them . allahurabbi . dengan perasaan itu , kita melalui banyak pengalaman dan dugaan yang amat lah tak tertahan . tapi Allah tidak akan memberikan umatnya sesuatu dugaan melainkan umatnya dapat mengahadapi dugaan itu . ya , that's the fact .

and i am dealing with the same thing too . are you ? it's quite challenging this time . yeah . it needs me to be much much much more stonger than before . i need the courage inside me . i needs more patience in my soul and hearts . i need all it takes to take this challenge this time . deep inside me , i am weak , i am a loser , i am damn annoying , i am damn fcking shit ! that's what i always thinking . a loser !

but then , i realised that i am not . i am not what i've been thought bout myself . i am new me . yes , i am another nadiah now. i am someone who will take those challenge as my courage to go through this damn mean world . when i think back of it , there's a lot more people outside there who get another challenge in their life which makes them suffered along their shit life .

the thing right now is , it is just something called game-of-mind . ianya hanyalah permainan minda kita . bila minda kita down , automatically , seluruh anggota badan kita juga akan down .

once upon a time at kmpp , ada seorang pakar motivasi datang . pakar motivasi tu agak femez laa . slalu kua tv and radio . she's from terengganu okay . haih .  she starts the session by telling those students including me : " adakah awak semua tahu bahawa minda menguasai seluruh anggota badan ? bila kita slalu cakap no dalam hidup kita , hidup kita pun akan jadi no , no no and no . but yet , try to say yes , yes , yes ! then , u will see the different . ok , aq andaikan pakar motivasi tu as mrs.a , and that girl as miss b

then she asked a student to be in front of us . when that person be there , mrs.a suruh miss b depa tangan kanan sebanyak 90 degree . she asked that girl to tunduk and pejam mata . pmpuan tu dgn nerd nya mengikut kata beliau . then she asked that girl

mrs.a  : " awak suka fizik tak ?"

miss b : " no ." (dengan selamba dan muka xbersalah)

mrs.a then tanya miss b skali lagi soalan yang sama sambil menekan turun tgn miss b . guess what ? tgn miss b jatuh . korang mesti tenga menyumpah nyumpah sbb xbrapa nak paham apa yang aq cuba sampaikan kan kan ? haha ! mcm ni . mrs.a cakap , bila kita cakap no , and someone try to push our hand down , tgn kita akan jadi weak then jatuh . ini menunjukkan , minda kita yang slalu cakap no no no and no tu akan effect kepada seluruh anggota badan kita which is tgn tadi adalh sebagai contoh .

lepas tu , dia suruh miss b cakap dia suka fizik (walaupun kenyataan , fizik adalah sucks gile bagi miss b tu) miss b pon try laa kan ,. paksa diri supaya cakap "yes ! aq suka fizik !" then macam yang aq crita tadi , mrs.a push miss b's hand down while miss b say yess yess and yess . guess whta ? it's amazing babes . tgn miss b tu tak jatuh . tgn miss b becomes even stonger and stonger . aq brapa nak pcaya laa kan . then dia mintak dua tiga org lagi turun and do the same thing too . and the same thing happened to another students (aq bet , conform kau dan kau tenga try buat kan ? ofcoz laa . balik j bilik , aq pon try apa ) subhanAllah . betapa agungnya ciptaan Ilahi . 

and menurut mrs.a , bukan sahaja minda dan pemikiran kita yang mengawal seluruh anggota , jiwa dan tingkah laku . malah , perasaan org sekeliling terhadap kita juga memainkan peranan yang amat penting bagi kita . bila semua org syg , kita jadi kuat ! bila ramai org tak suka , atau lebih specific dipanggil "dibenci" org ramai , kita turns out to be weak , bad mood , oh , aq nak mati , etc , etc , etc . 

bila j kita dapat dugaan ni , hati mula tertanya tanya , "kenapa aq ? y not another person dekat lua sana ? ramai lagi kan selain aq . but why me ?" yes . why me ? setiap manusia diberikan dugaan . pernah denga kan ayat ni ? "hidup bagaikan roda . kadang kadang kita di atas . dan kadang2 kita di bawah" the root of challenge is bitter . but the fruit is sweet . got what i mean by it ? thankyou , (tajuk x masuk dgn isi . aq tahu . sbb tu karangan aq slalunya terpesong)